1. "He's like so Christian, he's like a Christmas tree."

   1. Aubrey Plaza (Funny People)

   2. Sally Field (Punchline)

   3. Jenny Slate (Obvious Child)

   4. Julie Kavner (This Is My Life)

2. "The first night I was here I said to the owner of the joint, I said 'Listen, where's the toilet?' and he said 'You're in it'."

   1. Robert De Niro (Raging Bull)

   2. Warren Beatty (Mickey One)

   3. Judd Nelson (The Dark Backward)

   4. Murray Langston (Night Patrol)

3. "Are you still combing your hair with the Exxon Valdez?"

   1. Billy Crystal (Mr Saturday Night)

   2. Richard Pryor (Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life is Calling)

   3. Woody Allen (Annie Hall)

   4. Jim Carrey (Rubberface)

4. 

   "You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole."

   1. Rowan Atkinson (The Tall Guy)

   2. Walter Matthau (The Sunshine Boys)

   3. Bill Murray (The Lost City)

   4. Dustin Hoffman (Lenny)

5. "I just came back from the new Harry Potter movie. Harry's getting old. They should start calling him Harold Potter."

   1. Mike Birbiglia (Sleepwalk With Me)

   2. Jonah Hill (Funny People)

   3. Edward Hogg (The Comedian)

   4. Zooey Desschanel (Our Idiot Brother)

6. "I am from Caspiar, an Island in the Caspian Sea. It sunk."

   1. Russell Peters (Source Code)

   2. Kyle T. Heffner (Flashdance)

   3. Lee Evans (Funny Bones)

   4. Jim Carrey (Man on the Moon)

7. 

   "Once they picked her up for speeding. They clocked her doing 50 - in our garage."

   1. Adam Sandler (Going Overboard)

   2. Adam Carolla (Road Hard)

   3. Robert De Niro (The King of Comedy)

   4. Albert Finney (Gumshoe)

8. "The first kiss is always like Double Dutch. You're just sitting there like 'When do I get in?'"

   1. Martin Lawrence (Talkin' Dirty After Dark)

   2. Stephen Mangan (Festival)

   3. Frank Whaley (The Jimmy Show)

   4. Chris Rock (Down to Earth)

9. "When I was a young boy I used to look at pictures of naked ladies, hence my right hand is very strong. I touched myself more than a third-base coach."

   1. Seth Rogen (Funny People)

   2. Dara O'Briain (The Look of Love)

   3. Robin Williams (Man of the Year)

   4. Mike Myers (So I Married An Axe Murderer)

10. "You wanna play games? I can play games! I can play games. I can play ventriloquist with my underwear."

    1. Tim Blake Nelson (This is My Life)

    2. Tom Hanks (Punchline)

    3. Rafe Spall (One Day)

    4. Jeff Garlin (Dealin' With Idiots)

Solutions

1:C, 2:A, 3:A, 4:D, 5:B, 6:D, 7:C, 8:D, 9:C, 10:B

Scores

1. 3 and above.

   "..." is the response to the majority of your jokes

2. 6 and above.

   You probably think LOL stands for lots of love

3. 7 and above.

   You're officially the head of ROFLMFAO!