And here’s our review of The Weeknd’s half-time show:

F9: The Fast Saga

Okay so I haven’t checked but I am pretty sure this is the first time a film has been teased two Super Bowls in a row - a strange occurrence thanks to the chaos of the past year - with Fast & Furious 9 aka F9 cropping up again after its release was postponed last spring. It’s now set for May (but that could change) and a quick new tease shows us cars, muscles and Helen Mirren chuckling. What could go wrong?

Lenny Kravitz says we’re all billionaires

“You’re rich in life when you’re a heartbeat billionaire,” says Lenny Kravitz in a line only Lenny Kravitz could deliver, as he urges us all to “not waste the fortune within us” — 2.5m or so heartbeats each — but “invest it” in moments with each other (and Stella Artois beer).

Nobody

If the thought of Bob Odenkirk doing a John Wick sounds fun then this spot is somehow even funner than one might expect thanks to a nifty lasagne joke and a cameo from Christopher Lloyd as his dad. The “only in theaters” on 2 April tag at the end of ambitious but let’s see!

Ford urges America to “Finish Strong”

Over high-quality footage of so many of the things we miss — hugs with loved ones, crowded weddings, a pulsating music festival crowd — Ford urges America to “#FinishStrong,” as part of its PPE-production initiative. It’s another of the new genre of ad — the pandemic encouragement spot — but still, “we are so close, so close,” hits home.

Sam Adams releases the Clydesdales

With Budweiser stepping back from Super Bowl ads this year, Boston rival Sam Adams took control of the brand’s signature Clydesdale horses. Or, I should say, gave up control — set free by “your cousin from Boston,” the majestic animals wreak havoc on the city.

The Mannings play catch for Frito-Lay

Frito-Lay, king of the crunchy Super Bowl snack (Lays, Tostitos, Cheetos, Doritos) recruited a mini Hall of Fame for their rendition of ‘Twas the Night Before The Super Bowl — the Manning brothers put football-sized holes in their father’s basement, Jerry Rice and Joe Montana exclude Troy Aikman, and Jerome Bettis and Terry Bradshaw smash a snack table.

Oikos’s Pro Face

For its extra-protein Greek yogurt, Oikos rifles through close-ups of the scrunched, in-the-zone expressions of weightlifters making their, uh, “pro-faces.”

Michael B Jordan is Alexa

In a likely headline-stealing commercial, a female Amazon exec imagines the most ideal body for Alexa ... and lands on Michael B Jordan. People’s reigning Sexiest Man Alive turns on the sprinklers, strips his shirt to dim the lights, adds bath oil to the grocery list, and reads an audiobook in the bathtub, much to her husband’s chagrin. Small chance this isn’t one of the most popular ads of the night.

So Bruce Springsteen and Jeep teaming up to plea for unity is ... not working

Robinhood says we’re all investors

Riding the high — and several movie deals — of the GameStop saga, online trading platform Robinhood arrives at the Super Bowl with an upbeat, rose-tinted message of “we are all investors” that conveniently does not mention its freeze on GameStop trading that drew accusations of protecting hedge funds.

Bass Pro Shops celebrates the Great Outdoors

Bass Pro Shops and Cabela’s stores, sellers of hunting and outdoor gear, urged viewers to “get back to nature” after being cooped up for so long (not wrong), as there are still rocks to be skipped! Trails to be trampled! Fish to be caught!

Four quarter-sized Maya Rudolphs

I’ve never heard of Klarna (apparently this is their first Super Bowl spot) but I will take the pitch of four small payments pleasantly re-imagined as four miniature, fringe-gloved Maya Rudolphs on horseback.

Invasion of the celebrity lookalikes

The star-studded cast of Serena Williams, Usher, Megan Fox, Don Cheadle, Maluma, Sylvester Stallone, and Christopher Walken’s voice is revealed to be an army of unnerving imitators by the real Don Cheadle, to underscore the authenticity of...Michelob Ultra’s Organic Seltzers. I didn’t know the case needed to be made for the “realness” of any seltzer (is there fake seltzer?) but I unfortunately have to ask: are these people real? The Megan Fox double is nearly identical.

Less fun now huh

Bruce Springsteen calls on Americans to find “The Middle”

Bruce Springsteen visits the small chapel in Lebanon, Kansas, at the geographical center of the lower 48 states, to wax poetic about “The Middle” — an oblique, sanitized reference to hyper-partisan political division in the US. Over golden-lit scenes of the American heartland, the Born in the USA singer urges viewers to find the common ground “between red and blue, between servant and citizen, between our freedom and our fear” in a Jeep spot that seems to tacitly acknowledge the new Biden administration with its dedication: to “The ReUnited States of America.”

Random celebrities react to The Weeknd’s half-time show!

Y: 1883

How did Yellowstone become the most-watched show on cable? Who watches Yellowstone? Wait, what is Yellowstone? Maybe we’ll find out in this recently announced prequel series. If not, I bet someone’s dad knows.

Let’s grab a beer

Anheuser-Busch’s 90-second spot on the many, many occasions to share a beer with someone — at your wedding, after getting fired, over high school memories at a bowling alley, after a fight, after a funeral, before a date — hits a lot harder after a year of isolation and social contraction. Honestly, this might be the most tear-jerking ad of the night.

Timothée Chalamet is Edgar Scissorhands

Internet boyfriend Timothée Chalamet stars as Edgar Scissorhands, outcast son of Edward Scissorhands (Johnny Depp, nowhere to be found here), who’s having a tough time in suburbia. He’s an expert deli salad chopper but banned from the bus, a loner ferried around town by his mom (Winona Ryder, reprising her role as Kim Boggs) — that is, until she scores the silver bullet: a self-driving Cadillac.

Okay so I guess this is the clip that’s gonna live on and on and on then?

Coming 2 America

The long-awaited and feverishly anticipated sequel to one of the 80s biggest and funniest comedy hits was set to be a big screen release from Paramount, predicted to make millions. But like many studios, they were semi-forced to sell their wares when cinemas shuttered and instead, this will pop up on Amazon next month. The overstuffed cast might cause concern (like many comedy sequels might it be a bit too busy?) but it’s been so long since we’ve seen Eddie Murphy in this mode, it’s hard not to have high hopes.

Dolly Parton & Squarespace’s 5 to 9

Hustle culture gets a new anthem in the ad for Squarespace: “5 to 9,” a riff on Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5,” presumably about the hours you can spend monetizing/advertising your passion, be it aerobic dance or horticulture, outside of office job hours with a personal website.

It Wasn’t Me

Though Ashton Kutcher finds his wife Mila Kunis snackin’ on his Cheetos on the counter, on the sofa, in the shower, he even caught her on camera, Mila has the correct response: it wasn’t me. Mila is backed by Shaggy himself, with a new verse for the ubiquitous early 2000s hit that features the instantly catchy refrain “orange fingers, red flag.” Noted.

The Return of Four Seasons Total Landscaping

An ad for Fiverr is actually masquerading as one for Four Seasons Total Landscaping, the Philadelphia groundskeeping company located between a crematorium and a sex shop that became an unlikely, bizarre star when Rudy Giuliani hosted a post-election press conference there instead of, you know, the Four Seasons hotel.

It’s here already. In case you missed it, you can watch The Weeknd’s half-time performance in full:

Samuel L Jackson plays with us

It’s Samuel L Jackson in a new Verizon ad! Nope, wait that’s a video game version of Samuel L Jackson surrounded by other digital characters in a skewed version of Fortnite. An interesting direction for the cellphone company with a fun Deep Blue Sea-inspired twist.

Uber Eats does a Wayne’s World spoof

Uber, the rideshare disruptor of local transport economies, urges viewers to “eat local” with their Wayne’s World spoof that reunites Mike Myers and Dana Carvey in a winking riff on shameless marketing ploys such as celeb cameos (Cardi B, signature trill intact), trends (TikTok dance), and stunts (lookalike babies).

Relatable content

Here are some more pictures from a pretty electric half-time performance (video on the way). That stage!

Dreams can come true

And he’s out! It felt brief but that’s perhaps just a huge compliment to The Weeknd who managed to change genre and tempo with ease, mixing up settings effortlessly and managing to create an electric energy without the huge crowd he usually would have been surrounded by. Video footage and a full review on the way.

Knowing that the singer reportedly spent an extra $7m of his own money to ensure the show was everything he wanted explains just who it’s even more extravagant than usual. There’s also the issue of space, more to play with than usual. He’s on the pitch now with his creepy lookalikes, changing tempo yet again. It’s time for his biggest hit to date Blinding Lights, performed ambitiously with choreographed chaos surrounding him.

One of the benefits of the plastic surgery masks worn by his many many many dancers is that at least they’re being safe but in a way that’s also part of the performance. Kind of genius really.

A segue into I Feel It Coming, more fireworks and the impressive Broadway stage style setting keeps on transforming into something slightly different. A quick burst of Save Your Tears then some more restrained strings leading into Earned It, the 50 Shades song. There’s something both old-fashioned about the crooner style performance but also contemporary with the effects that surround him. Impressive thus far.

The choir have removed their creepy helmets and a change of lighting has transformed the stage. He’s going full-energy without a dance routine (there is plenty of dancing behind him).

He’s headed to a hall of mirrors style set now. One of the plusses of the lack of genuine audience is that he’s allowed to play with his surroundings more. He’s going way back with Can’t Feel My Face joined by surgery-masked lookalikes, playing into his recent plastic face escapades. It’s a lot but it’s a good lot!

It’s almost time ...

Remember OLD?

Adam Levine set up Blake and Gwen

What Gwen Stefani, dating again, tells The Voice co-host Adam Levine she’s looking for: “from another country, and someone cultured and sensitive and not threatened by a strong confident woman.” Over his spotty network, Levine hears “country,” “uncultured,” and “threatened by a strong confident woman” — and comes up with Stefani’s real-life boyfriend, country singer Blake Shelton, playing up his stereotype in boots and spurs in this smart T-Mobile riff on celeb gossip.

Amy Schumer is the Fairy Godmayo

Amy Schumer sweeps into a guy’s half-stocked fridge with a jar of Hellman’s mayo, that bland yet indispensable condiment, to whip up some dips (and a chocolate cake?) As a Midwesterner raised on mayo I can confirm it goes into more than you might think.

Gaga’s ready!

A quick reminder here of the sensational five star half-time show from last year. Can The Weeknd top it?

Brad Garrett is Tony Bolognavich, King of Cold Cuts

Jimmy John’s, the speedy make-your-own-sub chain, imagines its dethroned competition as Tony Bolognavich, a cold cuts kingpin played by the ultra gravel-voiced Brad Garrett. It’s a well-made spot, but nothing in the mob homage holds a candle to Garrett’s snide, dismissive “I’ve got this Jimmy’s Johns showin’ up on my turf.” Never calling it singular Jimmy John’s again.

Dr Squatch pitches to “real men”

Direct-to-consumer soap company Dr Squatch argues its personal care products are for real men — you know, the kind who open pickle jars on the first try, don’t use dish detergent for body wash, and let their daughters braid their hair.

Jason Alexander hoodie

The Tide commercial about a hoodie with Seinfeld star Jason Alexander on it reminds us of all the ways a sweatshirt can be abused — as a seat, home plate, or dog toy — and the many pained expressions Jason Alexander’s face is capable of making.

In case you missed inauguration star Amanda Gorman’s poem, Chorus of the Captains, honoring three Americans heroes (Los Angeles educator Trimaine Davis, Florida nurse manager Suzie Dorner and Pittsburgh-based Marine veteran James Martin), video is above.

A preview here of what we might expect from The Weeknd’s set tonight as well as a warning for anyone who is epileptic:

Paralympian Jessica Long pulls heartstrings for Toyota

In one of the more emotional and earnest spots of the night, Toyota profiled Jessica Long, the champion US Paralympic swimmer and double amputee below the knee. Long, winner of 13 gold medals, swims through scenes from her “upstream” journey: the call from a Siberian orphanage revealing her disability, jumping into a pool without prosthetics, her American parents’ choice to adopt her, as “there is hope and strength in all of us.”

Tracy Morgan aims for certainty

For Rocker Mortgage, Tracy Morgan explains the difference between “pretty sure” and “certain.” Pretty sure on whether mushrooms are safe to eat, whether the parachute is secure, whether you could take on wrestler Dave Bautista? Not gonna cut it. Assumedly the same can be said for affording a house.

Daveed Diggs serenades the Sesame Street neighborhood

Hamilton’s Daveed Diggs sings the praises of Sesame Street’s local eats — the famous cookie shop, empanadas down the street, mango smoothies, mom and pops bringing it to you a la carte — with the help of Big Bird, Grover, Cookie Monster, and other stars.

If you can’t hear the game because you’re still reliving Jazmine Sullivan’s National Anthem duet then check out our recent interview with her while you do that:

Just to heighten your expectations a little more, it’s been reported that The Weeknd has put $7m of his own cash into tonight’s medley to “make this halftime show be what he envisioned”.

Even though it’s a huge undertaking, half-time performers don’t actually get paid to appear but they do often see a huge rise in sales. For example, even though his performance was largely panned, Justin Timberlake’s music shot up 534% in popularity as a result.

So it’s perhaps a wise investment.

Tony Romo drives a monster truck

Former Dallas Cowboys pro Tony Romo and his wife Candice (sister of Gossip Girl’s Chace Crawford) eat 24-decker sandwiches, sleep on five mattresses, and drive a truck with jacuzzi-sized tires in the name of Skechers Max ultra-cushioned shoes.

John Travolta does TikTok

The ad for Scotts and Miracle-Gro finds celebs tooling around their backyards: Martha Stewart tends to some pristine tomatoes, The Office’s Stanley (Leslie David Baker) grills with a frown, and John Travolta and his daughter make a TikTok video to Surfaces’ Sunday Best.

Bud Light says it’s raining lemons

“2020 was a lemon of a year,” says a random unmasker party-goer in some distant future that is not 2021, which I would argue is also a lemon of year, in an ad for Bud Light Seltzer Lemonade that imagines the past year as a hail of literal citrus from the sky. I would not describe this Bud Light spot as particularly funny — pandemic humor remains a tough sell —but I admit watching the news / being alive in 2020 did often feel like getting pelted in the face with, sure, lemons.

Drake from State Farm

Insurance company State Farm’s popular bit / Halloween costume Jake From State Farm recruits the unexpected perfect stand-in for his role: Drake from State Farm, replete with the standard red polo and “like a good neighbor” motto. (Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes, meanwhile, gets not-quite-lookalike Paul Rudd as his double.)

It’s already the best Super Bowl in recent memory because this year we didn’t have to endure a pre-game interview with he who shall not be named whining incoherently.

Here’s a brief clip of what was discussed with Joe Biden, a real human person:

Not wrong

Nick Jonas on the future of diabetes care

Nick Jonas, who has Type 1 diabetes, asks a very fair question for Dexcom: if we have the tech for self-driving cars, Mars rovers, drones, robot vacuums, and eyelid light-strips, why do most glucose-monitoring devices still require a finger prick?

John Cena’s major, million-dollar melons

WWE star John Cena promises he knows how to count, and that somehow counting the hot pink Mountain Dew Major Melon bottles in his Super Bowl ad could lead to a million dollars.

One of the most fun parts of the half-time performance is trying to figure out which guests will crop up to support the main artist. Sometimes we’re told beforehand, sometimes it’s a genuine surprise but this year, no such fun shall be had.

Earlier this week, The Weeknd revealed that he’ll be doing it all on his own in order for his vision to work and so he can perform all of the songs he has in mind. Sources have also claimed that, understandably, producers want to keep risk down to a minimum by reducing those involved. Last year, Jennifer Lopez and Shakira shared the stage with Bad Bunny and J Balvin.

Bud Light’s ad Avengers

Bud Light is so synonymous with Super Bowl ads that it has its own roster of past commercial talent — the “I love you man” guy, the “real men of genius singer,” Cedric the Entertainer, last year’s Bud seltzer star Post Malone — who reunite for an Avengers-style plot to restock empty Bud Light shelves at the convenience store.

The most distracting Pringles stacks

Pringles forgoes the classic celebrity endorsement on the strength of its own popular flavors; their ad imagines a returned space module abandoned at sea by a control room, then a passing ship, too distracted by stacked Pringle flavor towers to notice. (Admittedly, the combo of original, BBQ, and pizza Pringles does sound great.)

There was a decent spoof of how some brands try to out-woke each other with Super Bowl ads as well as some other solid pre-game jokes on Saturday Night Live last night. These days, one slight smirk is a hit on SNL so this one is worth a watch:

People are predictably and deservedly having fun with M Night Shyamalan’s OLD

Will Ferrell is mad at Norway

The fact that Norway sells more electric cars per capita than the US seems...unsurprising...but Will Ferrell is mad! So he punches a globe! And recruits Kenan Thompson (in a pirate costume) and Awkwafina (now an archery expert) for a journey to confront Scandinavia with a plot involving snow, shipping routes, Sweden, and of course, GM cars.

Flat Matthew McConaughey

First there was Flat Stanley, now there’s 2D Matthew McConaughey — hiding like a flat pancake in a coffee shop, blowing away in the wind, freaking out Mindy Kaling, and slipping into a vending machine, where he finds literal fullness through 3D Doritos.

Better than any of the kicks or passes or throws or goals (?) you’ll see tonight

The first all-civilian space flight?

Apparently, yes, the first all-civilian space flight, called Inspiration4, is set to launch later this year. And according to their early Super Bowl spot, directed by Bryce Dallas Howard and narrated by Octavia Spencer, you can enter to win one of two spots on board.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Another Disney drop here for their next Marvel show, a prospect that might have seemed a bit unexciting pre-WandaVision, their surprisingly odd and surprisingly necessary first stab unfolding week-by-week. This one looks a little more formulaic - following Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan’s Captain America-adjacent characters - but hopes are now high nonetheless.

Old

M Night Shyamalan climbed his way out of a ditch of his own making by reinventing himself as a lower budget B-movie guy producing Devil then directing The Visit and Split after a string of bloated flops. But his worst grandiose excesses reared their head again with Glass, an ill-advised sequel to two of his other movies. Here’s hoping this new one, based on a creepy short story about people getting old too fast, pulls him back from the brink. It looks intriguing! Plus Vicky Krieps!

Paramount’s Mountain of Entertainment

To make its case as the latest entry into the streaming wars, Paramount+, launching 4 March, brings together its headline talent (mostly from CBS, as well as other umbrella deals) to the logo’s summit. The gathering on Paramount’s “mountain of entertainment” includes Stephen Colbert, Gayle King, Survivor’s Jeff Probst, Schitt’s Creek’s Catherine O’Hara, Dora the Explorer, DJ Khaled, and the actual DJ of the frozen party, Spongebob Squarepants.

Lil Nas X “defies logic”

Lil Nas X, star of arguably last year’s most enjoyable commercial (a Doritos dance-off with Sam Elliott and Sam Elliott’s mustache) returns with less cheekiness this year for Logitech. The Old Town Road singer, sporting a series of technicolor fits, boasts of futurist creators who “defy logic” over images of several young artists, illustrators, one incredible make-up artist, and musicians. I’m not sure Logitech, brand of my 2005 webcam, can be cool, but these people certainly are.

M&Ms are the new get-out-jail-free card

Kicked someone’s plane seat? Mansplained the concept of mansplaining? Called someone a Karen? Named Karen? Nothing a packet of M&Ms can’t fix, according to Schitts Creek’s Dan Levy and a kidnapped, soon-to-be-eaten green M&M.

If only

America’s youth poet laureate Amanda Gorman, 22, whose performance of her poem The Hill We Climb drew near universal praise at the inauguration of President Joe Biden last month, recited another stunning original work to honor three heroes: Trimaine Davis, an educator, Suzie Dorner, a nurse, and James Martin, a Marine veteran. The NFL named the trio honorary captains for the Super Bowl.

*screams into dip*

The game is heavily sponsored by this YouTube doc and without wishing to sound like a Negative Nancy, here’s our two star review of it!

Two contrasting styles, two very different voices, one unlikely Super Bowl pair — country star Eric Church and R&B queen Jazmine Sullivan came together for a rousing rendition of the Star Spangled Banner that had both literally pumping their fists, in a genre cross that serves as yet another NFL message of American unity.

Raya and the Last Dragon

Disney’s first drop of the night for another film they’re giving a multi-platform release a la Mulan with Disney+ customers able to spend stupid money to watch a film at home that was set to be in cinema. It looks like lower tier Disney, rather like The Good Dinosaur, but it’s another vital step in a more diverse direction with a voice cast including Kelly Marie Tran, Awkwafina, Gemma Chan, Daniel Dae Kim, Benedict Wong and Sandra Oh.

Lil Baby shouts out the hustlers

In an ad for Rockstar energy drinks, rapper Lil Baby recounts salutes skateboarders, nurses, DJs, and more because “real rockstars don’t chase the spotlight. It chases them.”

Just ten minutes before kick-off now, President Biden and his wife, Dr Jill Biden, address the pall hanging over today’s festivities: the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, which has killed over 400,000 Americans. The first family shouted out frontline and essential workers, and held a touching moment of silence for those lost.

The extremely talented H.E.R. is singing America the Beautiful as if it’s a song from her new album, distinctive and full of personality, a lovely start to the evening. Maybe we can all just play H.E.R. songs while the football is happening?

Video on the way when it’s up. Jazmine Sullivan next. Treat upon treat.

Exciting news for anyone who has ever heard Jazmine Sullivan’s voice before: she’ll be performing the National Anthem alongside country singer Eric Church. It’s an odd duet on paper (and only the second in Super Bowl history) but let’s wait and see how it turns out. Reports suggest that the performance will reflect both of their “visions”.

Also exciting: the excellent H.E.R. will be performing America the Beautiful. Then we can all zone out until the ad breaks.

Serena Williams enjoys dancing / Michelob Ultra

A series of all-star athletes including Anthony Davis, Peyton Manning, Brooks Koepka, Jimmy Butler, Alex Morgan and a dancing Serena Williams enjoy Michelob Ultra beer in their downtime, as part of the message “it’s only worth it if you enjoy it.” If only enjoying beer was all it took to be a champion.

50 Cent is in hot water again (he pretty much lives in a giant tank of it these days) after hosting a maskless party on Friday night in Florida. The rapper hosted a bash in a private airport hanger in St Petersburg and the mayor ain’t happy:

He’s not the only one who might be facing fines with other celebrities rumoured to be up to similar maskless mischief this weekend.

Dr Fauci has understandably advised that people avoid huge gatherings this weekend (more wings for you, it makes sense!)

“I mean, watch the Super Bowl on TV, enjoy it.” he said. “Have a party in your house with your family with the people who are there. But you don’t want parties with people that you haven’t had much contact with, you just don’t know if they’re infected. So as difficult as that is, at least this time around, just lay low and cool it.”

Dawn soap tries to close the chore gap

Procter & Gamble and it staple dish soap brand, Dawn, breezily acknowledge a stark reality for many families, Covid lockdown or no: chore imbalance. In 65% of homes, most chores fall on one person, a graphic says over — surprise, surprise — the mom hovering over the sink, in a spot that gently encourages viewers to come together to fix the “chore gap.”

The Super Bowl ad breaks are usually littered with some of the most exciting new trailers of the year but, as one might expect given the state of the industry right now, things are set to be a bit different tonight.

Last year saw nine new spots (mostly for films that are yet to be released) but Deadline is reporting that there might be as few as five coming later. With cinemas still largely shuttered across most of the US, release dates are still up in the air so studios are reticent to spend an estimated $5.5m on a 30-second tease.

What is known is that we will get our first real look at M Night Shyamalan’s new thriller Old (which he’s been teasing on Twitter all week), Amazon will be sharing more of Eddie Murphy’s long-awaited sequel Coming 2 America (a film they acquired from Paramount, who will be sitting this one out tonight) and Disney will push some unconfirmed titles (rumours suggest their Loki TV show might get a spot).

The party has already started! Miley Cyrus has been entertaining a digital audience and a crowd of vaccinated frontline workers with a “TikTok Tailgate” party singing a bunch of her hits with help from Billy Idol.

“Thank you so much! Welcome to the TikTok Tailgate everybody. This is my first show in about a year, and I couldn’t imagine a better way to do this than in Tampa, surrounded by healthcare heroes,” she said. “We are so appreciative of you and all your diligence. And for that, we’re going to rock hard!”

Here’s a tease if you’re curious: