Danny Dyer is giving it loads, but this still feels like a contrived and finally very heavy-handed and theatrical solo piece featuring a twist ending you’ll see coming a mile away.

Dyer plays Jimmy Banks, a brash, fast-talking cockney football agent, who – in moods good and bad – is always breaking out a certain monosyllable best described as blunt, or an affront, generally prefaced by “that …” or “you …” He’s got the Bluetooth in, cutting megadeals all day on the phone in his office with a toxic mix of ersatz charm and genuine menace, while fending off existential threats to his dodgy livelihood; wheeling, dealing and reeling. Jerry Maguire he ain’t.

Jimmy is on the verge of landing a colossal new payday for one superstar client, who is currently waiting for a jury to return their verdict on his rape charge. The club won’t sign if that goes the wrong way and Jimmy’s got all sorts of other grief: his ex-wife is unhappy about the house she received as part of the divorce settlement, he’s forgotten his daughter’s birthday, his lawyer is giving him verbals, and he’s getting sinister threatening calls from someone whose voice is on some kind of “Darth Vader” distort.

And what if his boy really is guilty? Jimmy is starting to think the best place for him in that case is under the bus, while he pursues alternative options, brutally exploiting his daughter’s friendship with another up-and-coming football star to get this young man’s mobile number and pour all sorts of honeyed Mephistophelean promises in his ear. And that Darth Vader character keeps calling back.

Dyer certainly cranks up the energy levels and he’s the right casting, but the film is very predictable and the initial flashes of satirical fun and mischief give way to solemn lachrymose tragedy.

• One Last Deal is in UK cinemas from 13 March.