There can be no more alarming words on a movie poster than “And Robin Williams as the voice of Dennis the dog”. Simon Pegg – immensely talented man, catastrophic at choosing star vehicles – plays a mild-mannered schoolteacher given miraculous powers by a council of CGI aliens voiced by Terry Jones and his former Monty Python colleagues. Said powers include telekinetic command of dog poo. It’s a bleak, faintly squalid romp that looks and feels as if it was made in the mid-80s – the worst movie involving ex-Pythons since Nuns on the Run. Watch absolutely anything else.