This second world war-set drama should not be confused with a famous unrealised film project of similar name. That one is the Holocaust-themed feature based on the novel Wartime Lies by Louis Begley that Stanley Kubrick tinkered with for years before finally abandoning; Suspiria director Luca Guadagnino is now rumoured to be trying to get it off the ground. Like the Kubrick/Guadagnino, this Aryan Papers, written and directed by ultra-low-budget film-maker Danny Patrick (The Film Festival, The Irish Connection), takes its name from the Nazi-issued certificate, also known as the Ariernachweis, which people were compelled to carry during those dark times to prove they weren’t Jews, Roma or from another persecuted minority.
Apparently, Kubrick abandoned his Aryan Papers in part because he feared it wouldn’t do as well at the box office if it came out after Schindler’s List – just as Full Metal Jacket appeared to have been eclipsed by Platoon. Fortunately for Guadagnino, no matter if and when his Aryan Papers comes out, he will have little to worry about with regards to Patrick’s film, a work that with any luck will be forgotten by next week. Like the embarrassingly bad comedy The Film Festival (AKA The Worst Film Festival Ever), this is a shockingly poor effort on just about every level, from the inept, back-of-a-beer-mat script, the lazy use of obviously not-German, non-period-proofed locations (a modern plastic wheelie bin is visible in several shots), to the frankly insultingly bad acting throughout.
The plot, if you must know, is set mostly near Stuttgart in 1942. Patrick’s fractured editing, perhaps guided by random coin flips, makes it particularly confusing to work out the timeline but basically we are following characters living at a facility dedicated to breeding Aryan babies known as the Lebensborn programme, by pairing vetted young women with Nazi officers. One of the women, Spanish-born Gisella (Celia Learmonth, one of the film’s more able performers, struggling mightily with what she has to work with), eventually tries to smuggle two Jewish young people, Benjamin (Jacob Ogle) and Judith (Niamh Ogle), across the border to safety. Her plans are foiled in part by evil blond bitch Helga (mostly played by Leona Clarke, but also by Cara Chase in a present-day framing device), who is shagging the unit’s commander and is quite willing to shoot crying mothers.
One could forgive the slapdash, budget-challenged look of the proceedings, but less goodwill can be dispensed for the painfully under-rehearsed, monotone performances. It’s as if Patrick recruited the cast with an advert in a newsagent’s window and paid everyone in sandwiches and soda pop for a day’s work. There is a sincerity here that suggests Patrick and his cast and crew mean well enough, but honestly this is a bit of an insult to the victims of the Holocaust.
• Aryan Papers is on digital platforms from 26 January
