Everybody knows that cinemas are finding it harder and harder to tempt people through their doors. The combination of the cost of living and the rise of streaming threaten to make theatrical exhibition a niche pursuit. But this is not a time to be disheartened, because cinema can still offer something that most forms of entertainment cannot. The collective viewing experience? No. I’m talking about one free drink for people with a certain name who go and see one specific film on a single weekend.
Showcase Cinemas has just announced that if anyone called Emily buys a ticket to see the film Finding Emily this weekend, they will receive a free medium-sized Coca-Cola in return. The offer comes with stipulations – you have to bring photo ID with you to prove that you are a real Emily – but what a wonderful promotion nonetheless.
However, we cannot discount the possibility that this offer might backfire spectacularly. Although Finding Emily is by no means a blockbuster – it is a charming-looking mid-budget British romcom opening on the same weekend as a Star Wars film – there are an awful lot of Emilys in the country.
In fact, the name has been one of the most popular girls’ names since the 1980s. This peaked in 1999, when 6,760 Emilys were born. By collating all birth registrations, and then applying ONS national life expectancy tables, the website NameCensus estimates that there are 138,181 Emilys living in the UK today; a figure that we can probably round up a little to allow for Emilys who were born in different countries and then moved here. According to the site, this means that there are now more people called Emily in this country than any other girl’s name.
Does that mean that Showcase Cinemas can expect 140,000 Emilys to flood through its doors this weekend? No, it does not. Showcase Cinemas operates in 16 locations nationally. Realistically, about a third of Emilys live within a 30-minute journey of a Showcase. Assuming all Emilys are scattered uniformly around the country, let’s assume that about 45,000 Emilys can practically take up the offer.
We should also note that Finding Emily has a 12A certificate. Because the popularity of the name Emily has tailed off a little over the last decade, this won’t affect the number of Emilys by a dramatic amount. So let’s say there are 35,000 Emilys aged 12 and over, plus a few underage ones who will exploit the limitations of the 12A certificate by being accompanied by an adult.
But even this reduced amount of eligible Emilys might be ruinous for Showcase. Even with a rough estimate based on screenings and seating charts, Showcase only has a capacity of 20,000 for Finding Emily this weekend. That means that, if all eligible Emilys attempt to take up this offer – as they should, for a medium-sized Coca-Cola is nothing to be sniffed at – then there will be chaos. Half the Emilys will be turned away at the door. There’ll be a stampede of furious and thirsty Emilys, kicking in the doors to The Mandalorian and Grogu and demanding they be shown a charming British university-set romcom instead.
(As an aside, if you are an Emily who wants to take up this offer, your best bet is to go to Dudley, where the film will be shown in a bafflingly huge auditorium. Southampton’s screen, meanwhile, is so small that an Emily pile-up seems devastatingly likely).
Hopefully, though, this nightmare will not come to pass, and only a sensible number of Emilys will be lured to Finding Emily by the promise of complimentary refreshment. And if it is deemed a success, then maybe the offer will be continued. This is certainly a good year for it to happen. If you’re one of the 11,842 Toms or 527 Jerrys currently alive, then you must be crossing your fingers that it will be extended for Tom and Jerry: Forbidden Compass. If you’re one of the 1,618 Klaras, then Klara and the Sun is coming out in October.
Still, though, you have to ask yourself why they chose a name as popular as Emily for the first try. The live-action Moana remake is out in July. Why not wait for that? Do you know how many people are called Moana in the UK? Just 67. Why not offer everyone called Moana a free drink? You’d still get all the publicity and you’d barely have to pour a single drink. It would have made so much more sense.
