Last week we learned of Nina Clooney’s dilemma: finding a suitable wedding present for her son. It’s a toughie. What do you get the man with $100m in the bank whose fiancee’s family is covering costs?

It’s a concern with which we can all empathise, as we regard from afar the nuptials of George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin this weekend. Perhaps our best option is a simple private pledge of eternal love to this classiest of A-listers.

Like every relationship, that between Clooney and his public was forged in the red heat of physical attraction, flames stoked by the dangers dealt daily on ER. Then, the serious commitment, as the actor revealed depths both on screen (Syriana, Michael Clayton) and off (donating his Nespresso ad cash to Darfur). Yet he’s kept things cooking with spontaneous gestures such as tearing strips off the Daily Mail and opting for a “seven-star” wedding in tourist-tastic Venice, rather than a discreet do we plebs only learn of weeks later.

So, for the man who has everything, we suggest the – happily cheap – gift of genuflection. Or, if you really want to push the boat out, a decent script for his next directorial effort. Praise is one thing. But we draw the line at The Monuments Men.