1. Guess the unseasonal Christmas No 1s by their gloomy lyrics. "The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had”

   1. That’s My Goal - Shayne Ward

   2. Mad World - Gary Jules

   3. Lily the Pink - The Scaffold

2. “Wonder if you’ll understand the touch of your hand behind a closed door”

   1. Goodbye – Spice Girls

   2. Reet Petite - Jackie Wilson

   3. Only You - Flying Pickets

3. “I’m alone, I’m so lonely”

   1. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston

   2. Here in My Heart - Al Martino

   3. Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby

4. The only things I see are emptiness and loneliness”

   1. Lonely This Christmas - Mud

   2. Merry Xmas Everybody - Slade

   3. Can We Fix It - Bob the Builder

5. “What about children dying? Can’t you hear them cry?”

   1. Do They Know It’s Christmas - Band Aid

   2. Earth Song - Michael Jackson

   3. I Love Sausage Rolls - LadBaby

6. “I did my best, it wasn’t much”

   1. Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2) - Pink Floyd

   2. Hallelujah - Alexandra Burke

   3. Merry Christmas Everyone - Shakin’ Stevens

7. “I’m laden with sadness”

   1. He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother - The Justice Collective

   2. When We Collide - Matt Cardle

   3. Long Haired Lover From Liverpool - Jimmy Osmond

8. “Would it make you feel better to watch me as I bleed?”

   1. Skyscraper - Sam Bailey

   2. Stay Another Day - East 17

   3. Mistletoe and Wine - Cliff Richard

9. “Single mom, what you doing out there?”

   1. Something I Need - Ben Haenow

   2. Rockabye - Clean Bandit

   3. When a Child Is Born - Johnny Mathis

10. “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me”

    1. Moon River - Danny Williams

    2. Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) - Benny Hill

    3. Killing in the Name - Rage Against the Machine

11. 

    Guess the actor playing Santa

    1. Tim Allen

    2. Woody Harrelson

    3. Tom Hanks

12. 

    Guess the actor playing Santa

    1. James Gandolfini

    2. Paul Sorvino

    3. Tony Sirico

13. 

    Guess the actor playing Santa

    1. Paul Giamatti

    2. Bret Gelman

    3. Bryan Cranston

14. 

    Guess the actor playing Santa

    1. Beau Bridges

    2. Jeff Bridges

    3. Lloyd Bridges

15. 

    Guess the actor playing Santa

    1. Matthew Perry

    2. David Schwimmer

    3. Matt LeBlanc

16. 

    Guess the actor playing Santa

    1. Nick Nolte

    2. Kurt Russell

    3. Patrick Swayze

17. 

    Guess the actor playing Santa

    1. Leslie Nielsen

    2. Jim Broadbent

    3. Ed Asner

18. 

    Guess the actor playing Santa

    1. John Malkovich

    2. John Slattery

    3. Billy Bob Thornton

19. 

    Guess the actor playing Santa

    1. Rob Schneider

    2. Kevin James

    3. Adam Sandler

20. 

    Guess the actor playing Santa

    1. David Harbour

    2. Jeffrey Dean Morgan

    3. Robert Downey Jr

21. A very merry EastEnders – guess the main plotpoint for each year’s Christmas special 1986

    1. Dirty Den asks Angie for a divorce

    2. Kathy drives a car through a window

    3. Lofty falls off a ladder

22. 2002

    1. Peggy chokes on a sprout

    2. Bianca sniffs glue for the first time

    3. Jamie dies in hospital

23. 2001

    1. Patrick is arrested for arson

    2. Lisa shoots a Santa Claus impersonator

    3. Trevor forces his crying wife to eat Christmas dinner from the carpet

24. 2006

    1. Pat falls down the stairs

    2. Pauline dies in the snow

    3. Bradley falls off a roof

25. 2007

    1. Ian is tortured by a gangster

    2. Yolande mugs a pensioner

    3. Max Branning’s affair with Stacey is revealed

26. 2008

    1. Ronnie burns down the Vic

    2. Ricky causes a train crash

    3. Sean kidnaps a baby

27. 2009

    1. Janine poisons her husband

    2. Billy has an alcoholism relapse

    3. Archie is murdered by a statue

28. 2014

    1. Phil takes crack

    2. Mick learns that his brother raped his wife

    3. Lauren is crushed by masonry

29. 2017

    1. Abi falls off a roof and dies

    2. Sharon sleeps with Michelle

    3. Carmel murders a cat

30. 2021

    1. Kat stabs her sister

    2. Linda loses a finger

    3. Chelsea realises that she accidentally married a serial killer

31. Which of the following movies takes place at Christmas?

    1. Iron Man

    2. Iron Man 2

    3. Iron Man 3

32. Which of the following movies takes place at Christmas ?

    1. French Kiss

    2. You’ve Got Mail

    3. Joe Vs the Volcano

33. Which of the following movies takes place at Christmas?

    1. The Usual Suspects

    2. Heat

    3. LA Confidential

34. Which of the following movies takes place at Christmas?

    1. Gremlins

    2. The Goonies

    3. Beetlejuice

35. Which of the following movies takes place at Christmas?

    1. Batman

    2. Batman Returns

    3. Batman Begins

36. Which of the following movies takes place at Christmas?

    1. Coming to America

    2. Trading Places

    3. Brewster's Millions

37. Which of the following movies takes place at Christmas?

    1. The Shining

    2. Lolita

    3. Eyes Wide Shut

38. Which of the following movies takes place at Christmas?

    1. Lethal Weapon

    2. Tango and Cash

    3. Beverly Hills Cop

39. Which of the following movies takes place at Christmas?

    1. The Apartment

    2. Some Like it Hot

    3. The Graduate

40. Which of the following movies takes place at Christmas?

    1. Beaches

    2. Steel Magnolias

    3. Terms of Endearment

41. In which sitcom Christmas special did the following take place? The characters are pursued by assassins

    1. The Good Life

    2. The Brittas Empire

    3. Absolutely Fabulous

42. A character takes all of the other characters hostage

    1. Bottom

    2. Porridge

    3. Ever Decreasing Circles

43. A character takes flying lessons with disastrous consequences

    1. Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em

    2. Goodnight Sweetheart

    3. It Ain’t Half Hot Mum

44. A character realises that he is the doppelganger of a dangerous Mafia gangster

    1. Lead Balloon

    2. Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

    3. Only Fools and Horses

45. The characters withstand an outbreak of winter vomiting virus

    1. Motherland

    2. 2.4 Children

    3. Outnumbered

46. The characters go on a caravan holiday

    1. Keeping Up Appearances

    2. The Royle Family

    3. Open All Hours

47. A character chokes on a coin

    1. Sykes

    2. Till Death Us Do Part

    3. Terry and June

48. A character accidentally receives 263 garden gnomes

    1. The Vicar of Dibley

    2. One Foot in the Grave

    3. Waiting for God

49. The characters attempt to retrieve an abandoned racing car

    1. The Upper Hand

    2. Last of the Summer Wine

    3. Two’s Company

50. A singing Christmas tree goes wrong

    1. Mrs Brown’s Boys

    2. Rising Damp

    3. Still Game

51. Which is the real title of a Christmas TV movie released this year?

    1. A Christmas Spark

    2. A Christmas Speakeasy

    3. A Christmas Spoon

52. Which is the real title of a Christmas TV movie released this year?

    1. A Marzipan Christmas

    2. A Gingerbread Christmas

    3. A Candycane Christmas

53. Which is the real title of a Christmas TV movie released this year?

    1. A Royal Christmas

    2. A Very Royal Christmas

    3. A Royal Christmas on Ice

54. Which is the real title of a Christmas TV movie released this year?

    1. Accounting Christmas

    2. Catering Christmas

    3. Bricklaying Christmas

55. Which is the real title of a Christmas TV movie released this year?

    1. Christmas on Mistletoe Lake

    2. Christmas on Holly Pond

    3. Christmas on Eggnog Creek

56. Which is the real title of a Christmas TV movie released this year?

    1. Ghosts of Christmas Laughs

    2. Ghosts of Christmas Always

    3. Ghosts of Christmas: Undead Cataclysm

57. Which is the real title of a Christmas TV movie released this year?

    1. Jolly Good Christmas

    2. Tally-Ho Christmas

    3. Spot of Tea Christmas

58. Which is the real title of a Christmas TV movie released this year?

    1. Ready, Steady, Christmas!

    2. Up, Up and a Christmas!

    3. Lights, Camera, Christmas!

59. Which is the real title of a Christmas TV movie released this year?

    1. One Delightful Christmas

    2. One Delicious Christmas

    3. One Disgusting Christmas

60. Which is the real title of a Christmas TV movie released this year?

    1. Three Wise Men and a Baby

    2. We Three Kings and a Baby

    3. Little Donkey and a Baby

Solutions

1:B, 2:C, 3:B, 4:A, 5:B, 6:B, 7:A, 8:A, 9:B, 10:C, 11:A, 12:B, 13:A, 14:C, 15:A, 16:B, 17:A, 18:C, 19:B, 20:A, 21:A, 22:C, 23:C, 24:B, 25:C, 26:C, 27:C, 28:B, 29:A, 30:C, 31:C, 32:B, 33:C, 34:A, 35:B, 36:B, 37:C, 38:A, 39:A, 40:B, 41:B, 42:B, 43:A, 44:C, 45:C, 46:B, 47:B, 48:A, 49:B, 50:A, 51:A, 52:B, 53:C, 54:B, 55:A, 56:B, 57:A, 58:C, 59:B, 60:A, 61:, 62:

Scores

1. 16 and above.

   Could do better. You probably think that Christmas is about friends and family and human warmth. Well it isn’t! It’s about films and music. Do better!

2. 31 and above.

   Realistically, this is the best score. You’ve done well, but you aren’t a Christmas fanatic by any stretch. Safely in the middle. Who could ask for more?

3. 46 and above.

   Ho ho ho! Stupendous work! We would come to your house and celebrate, but honestly you seem like the sort of person who’s had their decorations up since Halloween, so we’ll pass.

4. 0 and above.

   Dismal. You know so little about Christmas that it feels deliberate. We would call you a Grinch, but we’d be surprised if you knew what it meant.