The Paw Patrol pups – that’s Chase, Marshall, Skye, Rocky, Rubble and Zuma – are engaged in a rescue mission as this latest film instalment of the puppy rescue team series opens. A family on a yacht are in danger of being burned alive, and the plucky dogs are all that stands between them and a crispy fried demise. Unfortunately, it’s a little difficult to root for this family, the annoying teenaged son in particular, who is either an influencer or wannabe influencer. Obviously nobody deserves to die on the basis of their being an influencer, but building a rescue sequence around one feels a bit like if Jurassic Park were about trying to save dino-embryo-thief Dennis Nedry, instead of having him meet his demise at the hands and claws and teeth of a dilophosaurus with impeccable comic timing.

Speaking of Jurassic Park, that’s more or less where the plucky pups end up after the yacht rescue: a storm blows them off course to a mysterious island that boasts a T rex and other assorted prehistoric beasties. None of what transpires as a result is particularly entertaining, and we can only urge families to vote with their wallets and hand over their hard-earned to higher quality children’s entertainment.

No child will be missing out if you omit Paw Patrol from their lives. Children love to watch things over and over – those multiple repeat viewings may as well be of decent stuff. Bluey, In the Night Garden, Duggee, the Aardman films – there is so much available, it is baffling that the slop finds such a huge market. Children deserve charm and at least some degree of wit from their entertainment – and Paw Patrol: The Dino Mov ie has neither.

• Paw Patrol: The Dino Movie is in UK cinemas on 7 August